Needing them is a shot down and women have known that forever, because anything that will bring up parenthood will usually decrease the erotic charge. But more importantly, for me to begin to understand who are the couples who have an erotic spark, what sustains desire, I had to go back to the original definition of eroticism, the mystical definition, and I went through it through a bifurcation by looking, actually, at trauma, which is the other side. It's about you create a space where you leave Management Inc. They also understand that an erotic space isn't about, you begin to stroke the other. Is it different for women? Erotic couples also understand that passion waxes and wanes. And why is the forbidden so erotic? That's the million-dollar question, right? Give me comfort, give me edge.
But it's also not when the other person is that far apart that you no longer see them. It's focus and presence. And is it always the best thing to tell? It isn't a repertoire of techniques. Are you going to curse me, scold me? You know, this is the first time in the history of humankind where we are trying to experience sexuality in the long term not because we want 14 children, for which we need to have even more because many of them won't make it, and not because it is exclusively a woman's marital duty. But the central agent is really that piece called the imagination. Committed sex is premeditated sex. The couples she sees are stuck: In America, the primary discussion of affairs is about the impact of affairs, rarely about the meaning and motives of the affair. They are in that wonderful ambivalent state, too good to leave, too bad to stay. The third child doesn't really come back. What would you say to people who want to preserve a marriage? It isn't just a behavior. Or in other words, I sometimes say, fire needs air. Give me novelty, give me familiarity. Is this motivation for an affair particular to our age? They knew how to keep themselves alive. Do people see you as condoning cheating? One, they have a lot of sexual privacy. Perel swats conventional wisdom away with common sense that is not so common: My partner hasn't taken care of me in so long. Therapists are the worst! She has touched a nerve that only she knew was there. Probably the biggest turn-on across the board.
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How to Be Certain About a Potential Partner - Esther Perel
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